It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
