I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have feelings that need drinking.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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