but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
