is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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