and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
