I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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