this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
