READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
