so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The Olympian is in my bed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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