It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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