you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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