if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
