ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
