i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
