My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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