in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
