so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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