Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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