I heard we made out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize