No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
