I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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