I got chris browned last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize