I puked a lego.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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