wakey wakey hands off snakey
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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