you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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