dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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