Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
