Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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