Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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