I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
