i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
