Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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