Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
