flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
