im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
