My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she peed on how many people?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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