This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
