why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
