I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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