birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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