she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
