Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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