NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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