yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
