I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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