bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
