If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
