Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
