I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
