I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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