in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
