I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
