No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There's always time for handjobs
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize