you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
