just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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