Pappa wants mamma naked
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
