Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
