I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
