as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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