I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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