I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think i peed on brittanys purse
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
