His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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