I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The best revenge is premature balding
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We had to coat check the pizza.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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