I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
