i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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