the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
