party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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