I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Say something about gay babies.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize