I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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