He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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