y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I can't turn off my feet"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
