I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
